Philippians Exposed (Part 1)

1.1 From Me, Myself, and I: Paul, and from Timothy, a.k.a. Titus. We are the servants of Jesus Christ.
To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are at Philippi with My bishops and deacons.
2 Grace and peace be unto you from God our Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
3 Every time I remember you, I thank My God 4for giving you all to Me. I thank Him always in every one of My prayers. Even though I am thanking Him for giving you all to Me, I make My request with joy, too. [Sic] 5I thank Him for the fellowship I have have enjoyed with you due to your believing My Gospel from the first day I started preaching in Philippi until now.
6 I am confident of this very thing: that I -- the He who has begun a good work in you -- shall continue to perform that good work in you until the day of Jesus Christ. 7It is even meet for me to think that you all shall remain loyal to Me and My Gospel, too. Why is it meet for Me to think that the good work which I began in you shall continue until the day of Jesus Christ? Well, it's because I have you in My heart.

Ooh, what logic, Bullwrinkle.

And the reason I have you Christians of Philippi in My heart is because you are all partakers of My grace whether I am in My bonds, or out and about on My missionary journeys defending and confirming My Gospel and creating strife and contention wherever I go. Heh-heh.

Oh, so you Christians are all partakers of Paul's great grace, eh?

8 As God is my record...

Oh-oh. Paul is swearing to God again, so heeeeere comes the lie.

As God is My record, how greatly I long after you all in the bowels of Jesus Christ!

Aw, isn't that sweet, Xyin? So Jesus' bowels are those heavenly places wherein Paul and you Christian members of the body of Christ dwell, eh? Too bad you didn't know that Paul and Christians sticking it to the Lord from behind is exactly the Sodomy to which the Lord refers in Revelation 11.8

9 And this I pray, that:
  • your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge of M'Newer Gospel and in all judgment;
  • 10 you may approve of things that are excellent, such as My Excellent Gospel and My Excellency;
  • you may be sincere and not commit any offence until the day of Christ. Then you can offend God out the wazoo! Heh-heh. And
  • 11you shall be filled with the fruits of righteousness which are delivered by Jesus Christ in Me unto the glory and praise of God.

Note that the outrageously absurd people-pleasing Paul addressed this letter to the saints of Philippi. Had the Christians of Philippi been saints, they would already have been filled with the fruits of righteousness, would they not?

12 My will is that you should understand, dear brothers, that the things which have happened to me have fallen out of the bowels of Christ in order to serve the furtherance of M'newer Gospel. 13Therefore, My bonds in Christ are made manifest in all the palace and in all other places.

Although Philippians ends by saying that Paul was in Rome, I suspect that he was in Caesarea (Acts 23.31-26.32) when he dictated this letter. My suspicions stem from Epaphroditus being with Paul as shall be explained later when my research concerning who was with Paul when and where is more complete.

14 Many members of the Jewish brotherhood who are also in those heavenly places in the Lord have waxed confident by means of My bonds. They have become much more bold to speak the Word of God without fear now that I am locked up. Heh-heh.
15 Some of the those Jewish brothers who indeed preach Christ do so out of their envying Me and striving against Me. Our Christian brothers, however, boldly preach Christ out of the good will they feel towards Me.
16 On the one hand are our brothers who indeed preach Christ, but without sincerity. They only preach Christ out of their envying Me and striving against Me. In so doing, they suppose that they are adding affliction to My bonds.
17 Our Christian brothers, however, who indeed preach Christ do so out of their love for Me. Besides, they know that I am set for the defence of My Gospel, and I am such a fearless geek that they do not dare to preach against My Gospel for fear that I might bite their heads off. Heh-heh.
18 So then what do I think? Well, notwithstanding, in every way Christ is being preached. It does not matter whether Christ is being preached pretentiously and with lies or in truth. Just that Christ is being preached in lies or truth causes Me to rejoice. Yea, I rejoice! Hellelujah! And I will continue to rejoice! Glory Hellelujah! So psssssst, go ahead, Christian priests and preachers. Mangle Jesus' Doctrine! That's okay! It doesn't matter if the Gospel is taught honestly or with lies. The only thing that matters is that Jesus Christ is being preached. Heh-heh. Wheeeeee! Isn't this fun?
19 For I know that Christ being preached -- whether in truth or pretentiousness -- shall turn to work towards My salvation. Your prayer and the Spirit of Jesus Christ being supplied to Me shall also work towards providing Me with salvation.
20 My earnest expectation and hope is that I shall be ashamed of nothing. Instead, as always, including now too, I speak My hope with all boldness that Christ shall be magnified in My body. I hope Christ shall be magnified in My body, whether He is magnified by means of My body living or dying.
21 After all, for Me to live is for Me to be the resurrected Christ, and for Me to die is for Me to gain billions more Christian adherents to M'Newer Gospel.

And you're still thinking that PssssssssssSaul did not attempt to replace Jesus as the Savior of the world, eh, Christyin?

22 But if I live in the flesh, My being imprisoned is the fruit of My labor. Psssst! See how mean and nasty God is? I work and I work, and all I get for being the resurrected Christ is hauled off to jail. So psssst! If any of you people out there want to preach and teach the Gospel, all you're going to get out of it is tossed into jail. Heh-Heh. Even so, which I shall choose -- to go on living as the resurrected Christ, or to die and gain billions more Christian disciples -- I do not know.
23 Poor, poor little old Me. I am between a rock and a hard place trying to decide whether to live or die. I have a desire to die and depart to be with Christ, because dying and being with Christ is far better than living. So psssst! Go ahead, all you depressed people! Follow My example. Off yourselves! Blow your brains out! Heh-heh.
24 Nevertheless, My abiding in the flesh -- continuing to live -- is more needful for YOU. See how important I am? See what a self-sacrificing guy I am? I am thinking about not murdering Myself just so I can continue to preach M'Newer Gospel to you. Don't you Christians just LOVE Me because I love you so much that I would actually choose to go on living when I would really rather die? Heh-heh.

Ha! If you Christians are actually so gullible as to believe that Paul meant it when he said he would rather die than live, I invite you to read the latter chapters of Acts of the Apostles again and again very carefully. The dog and hog Paul fought tooth and toenail to prevent his own execution. He used people-pleasing tactics, his Roman citizenship, lies, lies, and more lies, and smoke screens -- distracting the focus of the Jews' attention away from the genuine issues at hand into beguiling them into warring against one another over the issue of resurrection which had nothing to do with the Jews' accusations against Paul. What a sleazy, sneaky creep Paul was.

25 Thou shalt not worry about poor little old Me, however, because I am confident that I shall continue to abide in the flesh with you just so I can continue to preach at you all. I am only going to go on living because My continuing to preach My Gospel at you serves your best interests, you know. I am not going to murder Myself just so you Christians can have joy over My efforts to further deepen your faith in Me. Heh-heh.
26 Yes, I am confident that I am going to choose to live just so that you experience more abundant rejoicing in Jesus Christ IN Me by My coming to preach to you again.
27 Thou shalt make your conversation be as if it were becoming to the Gospel of Christ, so that whether I come and see you or not, I may hear of your affairs. I want to hear that you stand fast in one Spirit: Mine. I want to hear that you stand steadfastly loyal to Me by your all being dominated by My thinking. I want to hear that you Christians strive together against outsiders. I want to hear that you Christians strive to have faith in My Gospel.
28 Thou shalt not be terrified by any of the speech or actions of your adversaries. Your refusal to be terrified by your adversaries is viewed by them as being an obvious token signifying to them that you are hard-hearted, insensitive heathens who dwell in perdition. To you, however, your lack of fear is a sign that you have gained salvation, and that your salvation is of God even though it's not. Heh-heh.
29 After all, on behalf of Christ I have given you the idea that not only do you believe on Him, but the belief that you must suffer for His sake. 30And you shall endure the same conflict which you saw in me, and now hear to be in me. See? If you are not a contentious, insensitive suffering slob like I am, you CANNOT be one of God's guys! Heh-heh. 2.1Therefore,
  • IF there be any consolation in Christ, which I doubt;
  • IF there be any any comfort of love in Christ, which I doubt;
  • IF there be any fellowship of the Spirit of Christ, which I doubt; and
  • IF there be any bowels and mercies in Christ, which I doubt; heh-heh;
2 then thou shalt fulfil MY joy when you all become likeminded and think exactly the way I think. Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt all have the same love that I have, which means "Thou shalt love Me, the resurrected Christ that I am, and thou shalt hate everybody who disagrees with Me! Which means thou shalt HATE the real Son of God!
  • Thou shalt all be of one accord in your agreement that I really, really do preach the Gospel of Christ and that I dwell in His bowel.
  • Thou shalt all be of one mind. NO AUTONOMY AND FREE THINKING ALLOWED IN MY CHURCH! If you want salvation, you must be totally loyal to Me and M'Newer Gospel!
  • 3 Thou shalt let nothing be done through strife or vainglory like I do. Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt let everything be done in lowliness of mind. Yes, thou shalt consider yourselves to be STUPID! That way you won't trust yourself -- your own thoughts, feelings, intuitions, sense, or sensibilities. You'll just think that I must just be soooo much smarter than you are when you catch Me showing off the evil spirits that dwell within Me, or when you catch Me and M'Newer Gospel warring against Jesus and the Gospel. Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt esteem other Christians to be better than yourself. That way, if you catch Me teaching or doing something wrong and you dare to tell your fellow Christians that what I am saying or doing wars against what Jesus says, and your fellow Christians balk and say, "Oh, no! It's not right to say anything bad about the Great Apostle Paul! You'll be damned to Hell for saying anything bad about the Great Apostle Paul!" you'll think, "Oh, well, all Christians are WAY smarter than I am. They must know God WAY better than I do!" and you'll SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
  • 4 Every Christian man, thou shalt NOT LOOK ON YOUR OWN THINGS!

Hmm. And what "things" do you suppose Paul is referring to?

  • Instead, thou shalt ALSO look on the things of others. That way your focus will always be outward, never inward in quest of your own salvation. Heh-heh.
  • 5Thou shalt let this mind be in you. After all, this mind was also in Christ Jesus.

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