Ephesians Exposed (Part 5)

6.1 Children, thou shalt obey your parents. Your parents are in the Lord, you know, because as Christians, your parents help form the body of Christ. They even form Jesus' flesh and blood. Therefore, obeying your parents is right because obeying your parents is the same as obey Jesus' body.
2 Children, thou shalt honor your father and mother. After all, "Thou shalt obey your father and your mother," is the first commandment given in the Bible that contains a promise. 3And the promise given with that commandment is, "So that it may be well with you, and you may live long on the earth."

Oh, really? Is that what you Xyin priests and preachers believe? I guess it's too hard to look up the original scriptures to which Paul refers for yourselves to check out whether or not Paul was telling the truth, eh? Okay. I'll do it for you. I'll even highlight in blue the words that contain the "promise" to which Paul refers. Exodus 20.

1 And God spoke all these words, saying, "2I am the Lord your God which have brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage.
  1. 3 You shall have no other gods before me.
  2. 4 You shall not make unto you any graven image or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth.
  3. 5 You shall not bow down yourself to them, nor serve them, for I the Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me, 6and showing mercy unto thousands of them that love me and keep my commandments.
  4. 7 You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless that takes His name in vain.
  5. 8 Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy. 9Six days shall you labor and do all your work, 10but the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall not do any work, you, nor your son, nor your daughter, your manservant, nor your maidservant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger that is within your gates, 11for in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day. Wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day and hallowed it.
  6. 12 Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God gives you.
  7. 13 You shall not kill.
  8. 14 You shall not commit adultery.
  9. 15 You shall not steal.
  10. 16 You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
  11. 17 You shall not covet your neighbor's house, you shalt not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is your neighbor's."

Hmm. I saw some promises ahead of Paul's "first promise," didn't you, boys and girls?

By the way, does anybody see, "So that it may be well with you," in "that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God gives you."? No? Me, either. What a surprise.

4 Fathers, thou shalt not provoke your children to wrath. Thou shalt bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord Paul.
5 Servants, thou shalt be obedient to your masters according to the flesh.
  • Thou shalt express fear and trembling in the single-mindedness of your heart while serving your masters, too. Even if you do not experience fear and trembling, go ahead! Fake your feelings! That'll dazzle your masters! Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt obey your masters as if they were Christ Himself.
  • 6 Thou shalt not just obey your masters with eye service as people-pleasers do, either. Instead, thou shalt obey your masters as if you were obeying Christ Himself.
  • Thou shalt obey your masters as if you were playing the role of the servants of Christ with your masters playing the role of the Savior.
  • Thou shalt obey your masters as if you were doing the will of God when you obey their orders. Yeah! Yeah! Encourage your masters to play God. Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt obey your masters' orders from the heart, too. Yeah! That's it! Put your whole heart into treating those arrogant, controlling jackasses like they are your Savior! That's it! Heh-heh.
  • 7 Thou shalt obey your masters with good will while you are serving them even if you hate their guts! So go ahead! Fake your feelings some more! Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt serve your masters as if you were serving the Lord, not men.
  • 8Thou shalt obey your masters as if they were the Savior knowing that whatsoever good thing any man does, he shall receive the same of the Lord, whether that man is bound into slavery or free. And your pretending that your masters are the Savior is a VERY good thing to do. Heh-heh.
9 Masters, thou shalt do the same things to your servants.
  • Thou shalt be obedient to your servants according to the flesh.
  • Thou shalt express fear and trembling in the single-mindedness of your heart while serving your servants, too. Even if you do not feel fear and trembling, go ahead! Fake your feelings! That'll make your servants feel really good! Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt obey your servants as if they were Christ Himself.
  • 6 Thou shalt not just obey your servants with eye service like people-pleasers do, either. Instead, thou shalt obey your servants as if you were obeying Christ Himself.
  • Thou shalt obey your servants as if you were playing the role of the masters of Christ with your servants playing the role of the Savior.
  • Thou shalt obey your servants as if you were doing the will of God when you obey them. Yeah! Yeah! Encourage your servants to play God. Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt obey your servants' orders from the heart, too. Yeah! That's it! Put your whole heart into treating your slaves like they are your Savior! That's it! Heh-heh.
  • 7 Thou shalt obey your servants with good will while you are serving them even if you hate their guts! So go ahead! Fake your feelings some more! Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt serve your servants as if you were serving the Lord, not men.
  • 8Thou shalt obey your servants as if they were the Savior knowing that whatsoever good thing any man does, he shall receive the same of the Lord, whether that man is bound into slavery or free. And your pretending that your servants are the Savior is a VERY good thing to do. Heh-heh.
  • Thou shalt forbear to be threatening to your servants knowing that your Master also is in Heaven.
After all, there is no respect of persons with Him. And because Jesus is no respecter of persons, He gives you masters and slaves permission to practice status discrimination and make gods out of one another and place other gods before Him out the wazoo! Ain't that swell?
10 Finally, my brothers, thou shalt be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11Thou shalt put on the whole armor of God so that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. Yeah! Yeah! Go ahead! Be a put-on! Heh-heh.

Ha! So you think that living a lie in La-La Land treating other people like they're God and the Savior, faking your feelings, and serving your gods with all your heart will protect you from being deceived by the wiles of Satan, eh, Xyin?

12 We Christians do not wrestle against flesh and blood. Instead we wrestle against principalities, powers, the rulers of the darkness of this world, and against spiritual wickedness in high places.

P-L-E-A-S-E.

13 Wherefore, put on the whole armor of God so that you may be able to withstand principalities, powers, the rulers of darkness of this world, and spiritual wickedness in high places in the evil day, and so that you, having done it all, will be able to stand.
14 Therefore, thou shalt stand up!
  • Thou shalt have your loins girt about with truth.
  • Thou shalt have on the breastplate of righteousness.
  • 15Thou shalt have your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.
  • 16Above all, thou shalt take the shield of faith wherewith you shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.
  • 17Thou shalt take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God that I speak.
  • 18Thou shalt pray always with all prayer.
  • Thou shalt pray always with all supplication.
  • Thou shalt pray always in the Spirit while simultaneously watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints like Me 19and for me so that utterance may be given unto me that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of M-newer Gospel.
20 I am an ambassador in bonds for M'Newer Gospel. The reason I am an ambassador in bonds for M'Newer Gospel is so that I may speak boldly in M'Newer Gospel. I ought to speak boldly in M'Newer Gospel, you know.
21 Now, so that you also may know all about my current affairs and how I am doing, a beloved brother named Tychicus who is a faithful minister in the Lord Paul shall make all things known to you. 22I have sent Tychicus to you for the same purpose so that you might know our affairs, and so that he might comfort your hearts.
23 Peace and love with faith be to the Christian brotherhood from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. 24Grace be with all those who sincerely love our Lord Jesus Christ in Me. Amen.
Written from Rome to the Ephesians by Tychicus.

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